At a Turtle's Pace

How it all goes on...Life's miracles...Great mixtures of sadness and beauty...

Slowing down today to smell the roses, or flowers, should be an expression for each day. Life has been moving by so quickly, yet also slowly at the same time. Hours, days, months, years...I sometimes can't imagine how it all goes on... 

Everything in my life seems to be moving at a fast pace, yet most of the time I feel as if I am stuck in slow motion. I feel as if to be moving at a turtle's pace when it comes to my inner thoughts and emotions.

I am slow, but still thankful to be in life's race. I recently completed my seventh marathon, the NYC Marathon in November. Three weeks before the race I decided (after months of training to prepare) I was not going to New York to run the marathon. During October, I found myself engulfed with two cortisone injections, numerous chiropractic appointments, and not being able to run over 8 miles without pain. I was uncertain how I would go to the marathon and even finish. It is amazing the clarity that comes from discussing something so personal and important with a young individual. My former student wanted me to run the race and to have fun while walking and running. I decided to pray for a finish and not to further injure myself. Looking back it was a wonderful and memorable experience and I was so thankful to complete the NYC Marathon. I was blessed with the opportunity to even be slow and to still have the strength and courage to race with all other challenges I have faced throughout the past month and throughout my lifetime.

Blessings can consume a person, hurt can invade your life, and forgiveness can save and repair those crushed facets of your existence. Life is so precious and fragile... New special moments can repair broken pieces of your life or loss experienced and make you feel whole if only even for a second, moment, or day.

I say a special pray today, "Let the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you."

We have all been born, are going to live, and will pass one day...We have choices in how to venture through the moments that are before us. There are bold, life defining moments in how we love others. Sometimes forgotten is the remembrance to be kind to our own souls and minds. 

Look to Life for Pain, Greatness, Memories, Hope, and Uncertainty

Forever Young

Forever Young...You will always remain young in our memories. We can mourn our pasts, but greater... is mourning that future which will never take place.

I will be at peace because of your wish for kindness in my direction. 

The greatest and most painful days and moments in my life have created wonderful and also heart-breaking memories. I believe my experiences have caused me to appreciate and to love all that surrounds me each day of my life.

I long for understanding, peace, and solace about the past. I can never fathom the whys and hows of everything that has occurred, but through the support of friends and family I have gained some clarity and a lot of strength. Above all things, I strive each day to forgive, accept, and move forward.

I mourned also losing another father...God forgave those who also threw unfair additional pain in my direction. I know those actions didn't accomplish anything but pain and they certainly didn't bring you back.

I know that each new year, holiday, and event will never be an experience for you on Earth. Memories of the past will always remain a comfort for the future.

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years (Official Lyric Video)

Happy Things...

It has been a day to embrace the joyful things to make the day a happier one.

*Dog walks on the wood chip laden trail.

*A child's laughter

*Whipped cream on any dessert

*Sunshine and warmth

*My little nephews

*Flowers blooming

*Candles

*Buying running shoes 

*My latte'
*Sam

*BOOKS

* Long running trails

*Waterfalls

*TEACHING KIDDOS

*A sandy beach

*Peanut butter cups

*Smiles, hugs, and kisses

*Red cabbage and other German foods

*The sun rising

*Football games

*The future
*Possibilities
*Honesty
*Kindness
*Hope
*Family
*Friends
*Love

 Khalil Gibran explains in the The Prophet.

“Then a Woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

And he answered.

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with tears.

And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not  the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

And is the lute that soothers your spirit the very wood that was hallowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall in the truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say , “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep in your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at a standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weight his gold and silver, needs must your joy or sorrow rise and fall.”

The Little Things...

So, it has been a great week and a great month! I received this note at work today from my honey, Sam...

It is the "little things" that you do for one another that make each day just a little brighter.

Lonestar - Baby I'm Amazed By You

~Moving On...The Next Chapter~

It was a wonderful summer~Now it is time to get back to work and to a bit of reality. I really do hope my summer was my new reality, but only time, faith, and distance will tell. This quote definitely describes how I have been feeling lately.

By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of tumblr

Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.

Yep, I have been described as a "fixer" many times. I unfortunately have many "Debisms" to prove it. My very closest friends know my Debisms and the validity behind their mysteries. Some of my friends~ahem....Small~know the Debisms all too well!~During this time of the year I sometimes just feel fear, I hate it, but sometimes it just catches up with me. I consider myself to be a positive person and so I try to run~really fast~ to outrun those fears and to avoid anything that makes me afraid. Recently, fear has caused me to miss out on some really great parts of life. This summer I have discovered I can't run to avoid dealing with my fears; I don't want to outrun what I have now. The happiness I have now outweighs my fears. I am amazed each day by the wonderful and amazing man I have found. He has a calming nature and really understands/accepts me as a whole~ my stubbornness, literacy nerd quirks, vulnerability, and above all~fears.

By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of alittletoofragile

Yesterday afternoon I had a sudden and unexpected flood of feelings~emotions; most of which included fear of trusting someone with all of my being; heart and soul. Going back to school I have to trust that love will survive distance in the end; with truth and faith prevailing.I had to call/text for reinforcements in order to stay grounded, aka:Small. There is nothing like a friend who has been down to the depths of grief, who can empathize with "that moment" in which your life was forever changed. Remember, we all know, "Misery loves company."

Small encourages me to move on and one of her favorite things to say to me is: "Don't assume, you're assuming." I don't have to say much to her about how I am feeling, she just gets it. It is an unspoken rule that I don't have to explain any of my feelings to her, she knows, understands, and can appreciate them. Most of the time I wish she didn't totally understand~I never wanted her to feel what I felt, but life doesn't always work out as one would hope. Angie listens to my babbling and then gives me her two cents, okay, a lot more. :) She knows I don't want to look behind, I only want to focus on the positive and what I have always wanted and truly deserved out of life.

I have found myself in unfamiliar territory this summer with a relationship that challenges me and all of the chapters in my book of life. I am thankful for Sam; his patience and kindness is worth taking many risks. No, I did not go to church this whole summer, I feel like such a sinner, especially since God has sent so many blessings my way. I feel so lucky and I am going to make a close to end of the year's resolution to listen, love, and pray more...

By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of factsaboutyou

I have three words to describe the place I am in life right now. Nearly six years ago, I would have not thought them all to be possible, but time, courage, and healing creates change.

1) Blessed
2) Stronger
3) Optimistic

I am in a good place now because of my wonderful family, friends, and my amazing job. Working defines who I am and those little peanuts saved me from the depths of despair on many rough days. I think being a "fixer" in the end was a blessing because when I couldn't fix what was happening in my own life I could always go to my work; help my kiddos with their learning problems and physical~emotional "boo-boos." I would arrive home feeling emotionally exhausted, but knowing I had made a huge difference in some one's life during that day.

The job that I love helped me to remain grounded, hopeful, and positive.

I love my life and the possibilities within this new and exciting journey.



~Twelve Thoughts For Today~

By Karen Saunders, picture courtesy of lovelydreamms